Love's Labor's Lost
by books4evah
Summary: What happens when you mix the marauder's era and Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Lost? Why, lots of romance, of course! JamesLily, SiriusMarlene, RemusTonks, FrankAlice, and many more!
1. Act I

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shakespeare.

AN: What do you get when you cross a Shakespeare lover with a Harry Potter fan? ME!! And this is a side effect! The story is definitely AU.

**Love's Labor's Lost- Act I**

James Potter was the king of England. His parents had conceived him late, so James was king, and they were long gone by the time he was eighteen. James had a fairly normal reign so far- if you consider fairly normal to be having a streak of play boyishness early on. He had three best friends in the world- Lords Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Frank Longbottom. He also had one pathetic, but somewhat lovable clown, Peter Pettigrew.

But, after awhile, James' messing around had caused his beloved country much strife. His outrageous wants and needs helped England go bankrupt. The people still adored their king; they understood he was just a boy, but they wanted him to grow up. James loved his people, so therefore, sought the counsel of his advisors.

Lady Minerva McGonagall was one of them, along with the trusted wise old Sir Dumbledore. They had advised him to spend three years in vigilant study, now disruption from ladies, or gambling, or anything of the sort. James was to learn the sort of stuff that would help his country, with the help of Sir Dumbledore. He was also to seek the company of his friends.

So, it was announced, that the king and his court would spend three whole years, of fasting, abstinence, and study, for the good of the country.

Sirius, Remus, and Frank, left right away, to help the king on his mission, or, in Sirius' case, persuade him not to forgo this idea.

"Ah, gentlemen," James started as his friends sat down in his study. "You are all here. I daresay that you have already heard of my plans."

The three nodded.

"Well, this country deserves a better king, and I shall meet that need, with force if necessary. I will need to study endlessly, with no distractions, and prepare myself for a real reign. I have drafted up a contract, one that shall not be broken, on pain of death. I will sign it, and you, if you please. So, here I sign, and you may follow."

James scrawled his name on the bottom of the paper. Remus looked distastefully at it. "You would think that the king would have better handwriting," he muttered.

Frank stepped up first to sign, "I am resolved. I will sign. It is only three years of a fast. My body may be hungry, but my mind shall be quite enriched." Frank neatly printed his name in large letters across the bottom.

"My lord, you have never been wiser," Remus started, while stepping up to sign. "I have but watched, as you destroyed your country, and I believe this is the best way to fix it." Remus loopy cursive signed his name on the page.

Sirius, however, seemed quite reluctant.

"James, old buddy," he laughed. "I will agree to study for those three years, but I have some problems with this."

James looked at Sirius questioningly; he did want his best mate to accompany him.

"To not see a woman in three years! Why, that is outrageous!"

"Of course! We all know your need to have a one-night stand every night. Lord knows how many hearts you have broken," Frank scorned, as Remus snickered.

Sirius scowled at Frank, and continued, "And, to not eat one day a week, that's preposterous, let alone having one meal a day."

Frank and Sirius murmured their agreements to this.

"And! Not to see any daylight at all! James, you simply cannot expect us to agree to this all!"

"You swore to follow this, Sirius."

"No, not at all! I swore only to study with you! Not to kill my reputation, and even myself!"

Frank sighed, "You swore to that, and the rest."

"Then I did not mean to swear for it! When does the study end? How do you know you have studied all you can?"

"Sirius, there can be no end to study," Remus threw in.

"We must study, for the good of the country," James retorted, sadly. "It is my fault, and I want to right it, you can agree, or choose not to."

"Fine. For the sake of the country, although what good my studying will do I don't know, I will study with you. And I shall agree to let you drain my rights."

"We are not draining your rights, we are making sure that the studying is not done in vain."

"Please, there are certain rights everyone is allowed to."

"I suppose that is true. So let me add, there will be three well-rounded meals a day, no feasts, as our country is bankrupt. We shall also spend as much time as we please doing what we please, after we have spent a mandatory five hours of studying a day. But, the rule about the women stays."

Sirius, who had been looking quite hopeful, looked as if everything he had ever known had been crushed.

Frank, who had been looking on said to Sirius, "Fine, don't sign, but forever more, be known as the man who betrayed his king, and his country."

Sirius glared at Frank, sighed, and scribbled his name hastily across the paper.

"Well, now that is good and done-"

"Wait," Sirius interrupted. "If I am not to be with women, my I at least know the rules?"

"Oh, very well, _No woman shall come within a mile of my court._"

"When was that proclaimed?"

"Four days ago."

"And the penalty?"

"_On pain of losing her tongue."_

" A bit harsh, isn't it?"

"Well," Frank said brightly. "It will scare them off!"

"What about the man seen with her?"

"_If any man be seen to talk with a woman within the three years, he shall have to endure as much public shame as the rest of the court shall devise."_

"When Sirius breaks the contract, this shall be so fun!" Remus cackled evilly.

Sirius just backed away.

Then, Sirius had an idea. "Sir, you do know this is impossible?"

"How so?"

"Well, the princess of France is coming, in place of her father, who is to be dreadfully sick. She is to speak of important political matters. Though, if the contract had it your way, her tongue would have to be chopped off. Then, in the best-case scenario, France would be raging a full out war against us, and how is our little bankrupt country supposed to survive?"

"I never thought of that. I suppose we shall just have to make a \n exception for however long the princess is to stay."

Just then, two men entered the study. One was a short, round man, by the name of Peter Pettigrew, the court clown. The other was a taller man, with rich blond locks and blue eyes, by the name of Gilderoy Lockhart, who the court constable, and kept everything in check. Albeit, he made a better job of taking care of himself, always lugging around that wretched mirror. James made a mental note to fire him later.

Not taking his eyes of the mirror, Lockhart handed James a letter, and said, "Sir Wood told me deliver this to you, along with this rogue," pointing to Pettigrew.

Remus took the letter, and started to read it. "It's nothing but immense flattery on your part, so far, James, ah here we go._ I did see that low-spirited swain, that base minnow fo your wonderful court-"_

"Me?" Pettigrew asked.

"_That small knowing soul_-"

"Me?"

"_That shallow vassal-_"

"Me?"

"_Which, as I remember, called Pettigrew-"_

"Ah! Me!"

"_With a woman."_

Here Lockhart looked up, and said, "AH, we should punish him," immediately looking back to the mirror, to fix his bangs.

"Well," James sighed. "I see nothing to do, but to have Sir Wood look after you, seeing as he's the only one who can deal with this shallow vassal."

The other lords snickered.

James cleared his throat.

'Oh, right, I'll take him there right away," Lockhart finally replied. Then, leaving, he ran into the wall three times, before walking through the door. A few seconds later, a crash resonated through the study.

"We really should get rid of that wretched mirror," Sirius said, voicing everyone's opinion.

In the courtyard, an hour later, Sir Wood was introduced to Pettigrew. His yells of protest rang through the house, until he was told it was the king's idea.

"Well, in that case, I will be more than happy to take on the shallow vassal."

Looking bored, Lockhart added, "You are also to decide the punishment for the girl he was caught with."

"Her name?"

"Uh… Mary MacDonald, I think."

A tall and slender girl, with deep brown hair and blue eyes was led in. She looked innocently at Sir Wood, with puppy dog eyes, which soon changed to a sultry look.

"Umm… She may go," Sir Wood said, with every intention of finding her and having a good snog later.

That is, until he realized that would mean sure death for him.

"Drat."

AN: Hope you like it! Review! Or I shall send the oysters after you! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! I'M EVIL! EVIL I SAY!


	2. Act II

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shakespeare.

AN: Enjoy! (And review!) Oh, and we're pretending that Tonks is older in this.

**Love's Labor's Lost- Act II**

Lily Evans was the princess of France. Her poor old father, the king of France, was deathly ill. Therefore, Lily was made to attend to all the business matters of the family. He was also her only family member. At least the only one she would refer to. She had an older sister, Petunia, but Petunia was never very political, and furthermore, was soon getting married to Vernon Dursley, the king of Norway. Lily was never really on good terms with her older sister, though. Lily had been best friends with her older sister, until Petunia decided it wasn't cool to hang out with your siblings. That was a load of BS to Lily, though. That was of course, what Petunia had said. The truth was, Lily had been accepted to a school for prodigies, and Petunia wasn't.

It was a shame that Lily had lost her best friend, but at her school, she had gained more friends. Lady Alice Prewett came to be considered by Lily her best friend in the world. She also became quite close to Lady Marlene McKinnon, and Lady Nymphadora Tonks, even though Nymphadora (or Tonks, as she preferred to be called) was several years younger.

Lily also met several annoying boys, or playboys, as you might call them. James Potter, who was currently the king of England (though, how he managed not to kill off the entire population was an utter wonder to her), and Lord Sirius Black. They could not be more idiotic, to her. They were also friends with Lords Remus Lupin and Frank Longbottom. Those two were quite nice. But, it was a wonder to Lily how they stood James and Sirius.

Whatever had happened then, that was the past. She had just of now, been told by her father that she was to go bargain with the king of England over some money problems from some past war. All Lily could think of was that she'd be spending a whole month, at least, with that oaf of a boy. Yes, boy. James Potter would never be more than that in her mind.

"Your Highness," said Lord Amos Diggory, her attendant. He was of the French court, and was to guide her through the dealings with England. As if she needed help. But she couldn't deny, that at least, he was quite polite and nice, unlike _certain _lords.

"Yes, Sir Diggory?" said Alice, who would be accompanying Lily, along with Marlene and Tonks.

"I have several tips, for when you make these deals."

Lily couldn't help how he put an emphasis on the word you, and Lily understood that Amos knew quite well that she was the one in charge.

"Oh, yes, go ahead."

"Now, madam, you must stay polite and positive."

Tonks and Marlene snorted quite loud. Alice was completely snickering. Lily made a mental note to _talk _with them later.

"You are the one that your father sent, you are his sole inheritor. You represent him."

Lily sighed, knowing this was true.

"Now, furthermore, Potter is still single."

Lily's eyes grew to the size of saucers, knowing what he was implying.

"Think of the money that we are demanding, as simply, the dowry for a queen."

"Now, Amos, you surely cannot be saying, that you expect me to _flirt_ with the man who ruined my life for a good seven years."

"Why, yes! That is exactly what I'm saying."

"There has to be some reason not to… I can't! I won't! I-" Lily started to ramble, but was cut off by Marlene whispering in her ear.

"Aha! The king of England is taking an oath to study for three years straight! No interruptions, meaning, no women. Wait. That can't be the king of England. James Potter? No, he must have died! And there's a new king, isn't there?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Then that just can't be true. It can't!"

"I'm afraid it is," Marlene sighed.

"What, do you keep track of these things? One would think you doted madly upon that Lord Black. Oh, wait, you do!" Tonks laughed.

"Be quiet."

The carriage they were in stopped the constant rumbling, and the coach announced, "We have arrived."

Lily peeked out, and saw the proclamation hanging at the front gate. She sighed. This wouldn't be easy to do, without getting her tongue chopped off, that is.

"Amos," She said. "Go and find the king, or one of his lords, and tell them that I have arrived. The princess of France seeks a personal conference with him."

"I shall leave straight-away."

After he left the safety of the carriage, Lily turned to his friends. "I have heard," she looked pointedly at Marlene, "that Potter would be studying with three of his mates. By any chance, would you know who they are?"

"Longbottom is one," Alice said.

"Yes, and what do you know of him?"

"He is quite esteemed. I have met him. He is quite good in the arts, and wonderful in combat. The only taint on hi perfection would be his sharp wit, and stubborn will.."

"You sure do seem to like mocking him."

"I wonder if it signals a secret passion," Marlene muttered to Tonks.

"Well, who else?"

"Lupin," Tonks added. "He is very well accomplished, and as I have seen, a good man. He is probably the most worthy of our attention out of the lot."

"Is that all?" Lily asked.

"Not quite," Marlene said. "There is another, one more. Black, they call him. Wit as sharp as the cold of winter. I had an hour's talk with him once, at a ball. And never before, have I lost a discussion. He is very juvenile, but, yet, interesting."

"Good god! Are all of my friends in love?" Lily teased.

"Just as you are in love with Potter," Marlene retorted, earning smirks from Alice and Tonks, and a scowl from Lily.

From the shadows, another of Lily's attendants, good old Xeno Lovegood, spoke up, "Amos is coming back."

Lily stood up, straightening her dress, and stepped out of the carriage, and beckoned ot others to follow. They did, and when Amos was in talking distance, Lily said, "Any news?"

"The king knew of your coming. Unfortunately, he and his lords have sworn to their oath, and will not break it. Though, I am not quite sure about that Black fellow. All I have really learnt is that he intends to house you in the fields."

"Does he wish another war?!" Marlene demanded.

"AH, quiet. Here he comes."

James, Sirius, Remus, and Frank walked down to the front gates, where the ladies were standing. James noticed that Lily was looking extraordinarily radiant that day.

"Ah, fair Lily. Welcome to my court," he greeted, bowing, while kissing her extended hand.

"I would prefer you not kiss my hand. Now, for your greeting, I will give you back your _fair_, but as for the welcome, I feel I have not received that. I just heard that I would not even be allowed to enter your court, let alone your gates."

"You shall be welcome to my court, though."

"Then please, escort me there."

"Please listen. I have sworn, taken my oath."

"Why, if you don't want another war on your bankrupt country's hands, then you shall just have to break your oath."

As they continued to argue, Sirius stepped aside, over to Marlene, and started chatting.

"Am I right to assume I danced once with you in Madrid?"

"Did not I dance with you?"

"I know you did."

"Well then, there was no need for you to ask the question in the first place!"

"You cannot be so quick into conversation."

"It would have bored me anyhow, to deal with your long questions."

"Your wit's too sharp for me, I see."

"Yes, quite."

Sirius sighed, knowing he would get nowhere with her, but continued with the banter, hoping James was doing better.

"Lily, your father here wants the payment of a hundred thousand galleons. But, we did not borrow that much at all. These calculations are quite wrong."

"You do my father too much wrong. This wrongs the reputation of your name, to deny to pay what you have borrowed!"

"I do protest our accounts never recorded it. But if you prove it, I will repay it."

Sirius was still not doing much better.

"Marlene, I do praise you much, in my heart."

"Ah, I am touched, or would be, if you had a heart."

"If I had it my way, you would have just heard it groan."

"Is the fool sick?"

"Sick in the heart."

"Ah, to bad. Maybe we will have to bleed it."

"What good would that do me?"

"My physician agrees."

"Well, would you prick my heart with your eye?"

"No, with my knife."

"God! Save my life!"

"Yes, from long living."

"I really don't think I like this."

A few meters away, Remus and Frank were standing in front of Amos.

"Sir, I pray you," Remus started. "Who is that lady over there?" he asked, pointing to Tonks, and tucking a bottle of French champagne into Amos' arms.

"The heir to the duke of Naples. Nymphadora Tonks, is her name, albeit, she prefers just Tonks."

"Ah, thank you, good sir. I fare you well."

Frank, taking his cue from Remus, stepped up, and asked, "I beseech you, who is she, in the white?" while handing Amos a loaf of bread, and gesturing towards Alice.

Amos raised his eyebrows at the bread. Who gave bread as a bribe? He decided to trick that poor man.

"A woman, sometimes."

"I desire her name."

"She has one, but to desire it? I would see it more fit to desire the woman herself."

"Whose daughter is she?"

"Her mother's, I believe."

"God damn you! Can you not get your answers straight?"

"Do not be offended. She is the heir to Italy."

"She seems to be a sweet lady."

"Maybe," Amos said, but Frank did not hear. He wandered off, staring dreamily at Alice.

The king and his men left, as they assured the women they had good reason.

"That Black boy," Alice started. "he is one mad-hatter, as it seems."

"A definite jest."

Lily cut in. "Wonderful wits, you have, but hey are better spent on Potter and his boys."

Amos smirked, and said, "Contradict me if you must, but I should say, Potter is infected."

"With what?" Lily squeaked, scraping at her hands, as if that would disinfect her.

"With that of lovers."

"And why would you say that?"

"Oh, it could be seen in all of his actions. The way his eye would always be straining to glimpse you, he stumbled, impatient to speak, or might I add, impress you. His eyes were enchanted with you. I shall say, if you want those galleons, spare him but one passionate kiss."

"Girls, come. I must say Amos has gone insane!"

"But it is true, it will work!"

"Yes, you have loved so many times that you speak knowingly," Marlene retorted, sarcastically.

"No, no! He is Cupid's grandfather, and learns his secrets and ideas likewise!" Alice laughed.

"Do you listen, you mad wenches?"

"No."

"What, then do you see?"

"Yes, our way to leave. Au revoir, Amy!"

"You are al to hard for me."

AN: Ooh! Romance has started! How will it end? Wait to find out, and in the meantime, review! Or, you could just read the play, 'cause that's where I'm getting the plot from, and some of the lines are exactly the same. I challenge you to finding out which characters correspond to which!


	3. Act III

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shakespeare.

AN: Here you go, NOW REVIEW BEFORE THE OYSTERS COME!!

**Love's Labor's Lost- Act III**

Sir Wood was a good man. He was a commander in the British Navy, and very powerful. He was also about as loyal to the king as you could get. He was also in love. A forbidden love. Oh, also, he was horrible at writing. He would always write with a most complicated and fancy script, and even more, when writing to the king, his letters were FILLED with flattery of all sorts. But that's getting off topic. Now, where were we? Ah, right, his forbidden love.

As Sir Wood was in the king's court, he was not allowed to see women for three years. That, he could deal with; he was not dear old Sirius Black, who needed a new, one-night stand every night. No, that was not him.

But, what he could not deal with, was that sultry little girl, Mary MacDonald, her name. She was so flirtatious, Sir Wood hated it. It wasn't what you think. He was in love. His heart stopped beating as he saw her. And furthermore, she was HOT!! He could bear it if she wasn't, but she was! She was like a magnet who drew him in, closer and closer. He could not resist.

So, he ended up breaking the contract (as if the king wasn't!), and writing a letter to Mary.

Sir Wood, and his somewhat-insane personal assistant, Candy Chang, entered the courtyard, before Sir Wood decided to speak.

"Chang! Listen up, and listen well."

"Of course," she said dreamily, staring at the window to the king's office.

"Go bring that clown! I need him to deliver a letter to my love!"

"Who, King James?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said that he was to deliver a letter to my love."

"Yes, that's Mary-"

"No! You said _my _love! And…"

"You have it completely wrong."

"I LOVE JAMES POTTER!!"

"Right…"

"Well, anyways, will you win your love with a French brawl?"

"Meaning? Arguing in French?"

"No; a French brawl is to sing a song, dance a jig with it, sigh a note, eat a rabbit…"

Here Sir Wood stopped listening. Everyone knew that Candy Chang wasn't completely right in the head.

"All while turning your eyelids inside out."

"Have you tried this before?"

"Yes! It's the most fun, EVER!! I have used it to woo the king on several occasions, and I think he enjoyed it. He even hired several men in black suits to escort me off the premises!"

"Okay…"

"Have you forgotten your 'hobby-horse' already?"

"You call the love of my life a 'hobby-horse'?!"

Oops. I mean… But have you already forgotten your love?"

"Though it's hard to say, yes, almost."

"Negligent! You must learn of her!"

"And how would you know about this, you have almost no experience."

"Hello? Girl!"

"Well, anything that I must do?"

"I must know if you truly love her!"

"How?"

"If you love her with all your heart, by hear tyou love her, because your heart cannot near her, in heart you love her, because your heart is in love with her, and out of hear tyou love her, being out of hear that you cannot enjoy her."

"This all implies to me!"

"They all imply to my love for James! I LOE JAMES POTTER!!"

"Well, anyways, go get the clown, I need him to send the message!"

"That sure shows her you love her! Sending a horse to deliver a letter of an ass."

"Do you want an execution?"

"No, sir."

"Then leave!"

"Right."

While she was leaving, Sir Wood heard Candy muttering about how she wished there was an 'I Love James Potter' store.

"I wish there was an 'I Love Mary' store."

So, Sir Wood just stood there, in awkward silence, until Candy came back, dragging Peter.

"Here you go! Now, I may get back to daydreaming about the king!"

So, Sir Wood turned to Peter.

Peter looked up, with a horrible set of puppy dog eyes. "Please, please, this is torture, please let me loose!"

"I will set you free, total liberty. On one condition. Bear this letter," Sir Wood held out his letter, "to the fair country maid, Mary. There will also be a tip involved."

At this, Peter perked up. "Of course, of course! I will!"

"Here, take much care of this," Sir Wood said, handing over the letter. "I must go, Candy, come."

Sir Wood left, Candy following on his heels.

Peter looked around, and seeing no one was there, he looked greedily at the coins in his hand. "Now I think I shall inspect his tip. Tips! Money! Remuneration! That's the Latin word for sickles, three sickles- remuneration. Remuneration! Why, it is fairer a name than the French crown! I will always adore this word.

Here, Sirius entered, laughing, as he had heard Peter's monologue.

"Why, Pettigrew, that was a very _interesting _speech."

"Thank you!"

"Well, it is good meeting you."

"Well, may I ask you; how much ribbon may a person buy for a remuneration?"

"And what is a remuneration?"

"Three sickles!"

"Then, three sickles worth of silk."

"I thank you for your help!"

Sirius chuckled at Peter's incompetence. Peter made a motion to leave, but Sirius stopped him. "Stay, Pettigrew. I must ask for your help. If you want my favor, then there is one thing you must do for me."

"When would I have to do it?"

"This afternoon."

"Well then, I will do it."

"But, you have no clue what it is. It could be kissing me, for all you know!"

"I'll do that sir!"

"Okay…" Sirius stuttered, backing away.

"But, anyways, I will know what it is when I have done it."

"But, to do it, you must know what it is, first."

"Very well, what is it?"

"The princess comes to read, here in the park, and in her train, there is a most beauteous lady-"

"Amos Diggory? He is quite beauteous."

"Um… he's a he. Well, her name is Marlene, the most beautiful name I have ever heard. And to her fair white hand, hand her this letter. Guard it with your life."

Here, Peter was handed a letter, and a galleon.

"Galleon! Sweet galleon! This is better than three sickles! Sickles! Galleon! This is my lucky day!"

Peter left, muttering to himself about the joys of money.

This left Sirius, who was muttering to himself about the joys of Marlene.

"I'm in love! I have been whipped by love, though. Marlene, that sole perpetrator of my heart, walks all over me…"

Sirius wandered off, ranting on and on about Marlene, as Lockhart walked in, that wretched mirror _still_ in his hand.

"Damn those bangs. They're always off by a _whole millimeter_! How am I _ever_ going to win the best looking constable of King James of England's court award this year, if those damn bangs are always off? Damnit!"

And he wandered off.

AN: Then the oysters waddled on. They found everyone who read this story, but didn't review, and shot them down with their evil bazookas of doom! MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! I'M EVIL! EVIL, I SAY!! Again, been hanging out with Sirius too much.


	4. Act IV

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shakespeare.

AN: The next act (act V, the longest act in the play) is so long, that it might take a bit longer to post, just a warning.

**Love's Labor's Lost- Act IV**

Xenophilius Lovegood, better known as Xeno, was thinking. That was something he did quite often these days. He was thinking back to his wife. She wanted to have a baby, but they were having troubles with her getting pregnant. Xeno wanted his wife happy, and eh supposed he wouldn't mind having a child. A daughter would be best. A daughter he could fascinate with stories of the princess he had served, and tell her about the dresses and such. He might even be able to bring a daughter to the court. That would be fun, and Xeno was sure that Princess lily would enjoy that. But, he most often dreamed about telling his child of nargles and all that. That would be fun.

So, here he was, in the courtyard, pretending to be reading the book the princess had given him to read, _Creatures of the World_. But, instead, he was thinking, and daydreaming of going back to his wife. He had just realized that she was supposed to be most fertile today. Xeno felt quite upset that he had to miss it. But, he was very loyal to the princess, along with his wife.

That was why he was here, in England, to serve the princess. He could easily have said no, without anyone minding; he was a favorite of the royal family in France. But, he wanted to serve the princess. Anyways, England was quite nice. None of those tiny breakfasts. They had large healthy breakfasts.

Well, anyway, he, the princess, and the rest of her train were out in the courtyard, reading. The princess adored reading. She said, personally, it would be worth moving to England, even with their horrible king, just for the books. The English took their literature seriously. And, although the French did have their own literature, it wasn't up to the standards of the English.

King James had let the princess into his study, saying he knew she loved to read. That was about the nicest thing he had done yet. But, Xeno had noticed, that when the king was around Princess Lily, he had a strange twinkle in his eyes. That twinkle was only there when the princess was around. And, Lily, of all people, seemed to b enjoying the king's company even more, she had even smiled at him! If it was anything, it was love, Xeno thought.

Now, finally, the princess decided to talk. "Was that the king, riding his horse upon that hill?"

Marlene smirked, and Amos said, "I'm not sure, but I think it wasn't him."

Lily blushed. "Ah, well, we'll have to deal with the king sooner or later. We need that money, and we have to leave by Saturday."

"Or face Petunia's wrath," Tonks cut in.

"We wouldn't want to miss her wedding, would we?" Alice asked.

"I wouldn't mind missing it, quite honestly," Tonks shrugged.

"Tonks! That's rude to the royal family!" Alice reprimanded.

"I don't mind," Lily retorted. "I wouldn't mind missing it either."

"But you won't" Marlene started. "Petunia would murder you in your sleep if you did miss it."

"Hey! I only said I wouldn't mind!"

"Well, if you don't miss her wedding, then she won't ever have to bother you again."

"That was very fair of you, Marlene!" Alice exclaimed, shocked.

"Why thank you, I always have thought that I was beautiful."

"I didn't mean it that way!"

"What's this? First you compliment, and then you take it back again? Ah, the short-lived pride! I'm not fair, not beautiful? Unfair!" Marlene cried out, dramatically.

"But, Marlene, you misunderstand, you are pretty!"

"Don't praise me now! When I am told to be ugly, praise will never fix anything! But thank you, Alice, for telling me I was ugly, before I was mocked about it! Now I can do something about it!"

"Just listen, Marlene!"

"Why should I? You are the one who mocks me! You shall just tear my self-esteem down even more! At least, though, I will inherit richly, that might improve my merit…"

Lily, Tonks, and Amos were all silently laughing. Xeno hadn't quite noticed anything, and was still thinking. The three listened to Marlene mock Alice, without Alice knowing. Alice was Lily's best friend and all, but sometimes she could be quite oblivious.

Finally, Marlene couldn't resist cracking up. Through her laughing, she exclaimed, "I-got-you- Alice!"

At that moment, Peter walked in. He saw Marlene on the ground, pounding the earth with her fist, and her legs kicking the ground, with her other holing her stomach with laughter. He was worried for a second, because Sirius said that Miss Marlene was supposedly fair, and this lady wasn't fair at all. But then, he realized that this was the only Marlene McKinnon in the court, and he had to deliver the letter. So, he just reckoned that Sirius was delusional.

He walked up to Amos, and tapped him on the shoulder. Amos looked around, and saw Peter, who whispered something into his ear. Peter tried to hand him the letter, but Amos shook his head.

"Give it to the princess. I technically am not allowed to handle that letter."

Peter sighed. He didn't know which one was the princess. So he walked to the center of the group, and cleared his throat, loudly.

Marlene blushed, sat up, and brushed the dirt of her skirt. Lily looked up at him, and said, "Yes?"

"I must know," Peter started, timidly. "Who is the head lady?"

Tonks smiled, and cut in, "You should know her easily, the others will have no heads."

Peter blushed, and asked, "Who is the greatest, highest lady?"

Lily laughed. "The thickest and the tallest."

Peter blushed even more, but decided to get back at Lily. "Ah! The thickest and the tallest! Of course, it would have to be!"

Lily smirked. But Peter continued, "Are you not the chief woman, then? You ar the thickest here."

The smirk fell right off of Lily's face, and Peter grinned madly. Lily said, sourly, "What do you want?"

"Just to deliver this letter, from Lord Black to Lady McKinnon."

After saying this, Peter handed the letter to Lily, and left. Lily looked over the letter, and handed it to Amos. "Read it, please," she said.

"But, isn't it Marlene's letter?" Alice asked.

"Ahh… But we can use to our advantage. If Black is disobeying the contract, it shall surely embarrass the whole court."

"And I completely agree with that." Marlene smirked.

'Read already!" Tonks cried.

"Alright," Amos said. He looked over the letter. "Wait, this is the wrong letter."

"What do you mean?" Alice asked.

"It is addressed to a Mary MacDonald." At this, Marlene looked downhearted, but Amos continued. "And, even more, it is from a Sir Wood."

"Isn't he from the British navy?" Tonks pondered.

"And, he resides in this court, doesn't he?"

"Yes, he does."

"I think we should hand it to this Mary girl," Alice suggested.

"No, we're keeping it," Lily said, with a tone of finality.

"But what are we going to do with it?"

"Blackmail."

In another part of the court, right inside of the court gates were Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Lockhart. McGonagall and Dumbledore were engaged in conversation, while Lockhart had that wretched mirror out _again. _

The conversation was getting very confusing, and no one other than the two talking could understand. Lockhart had been ignoring it, staring into the depths of that wretched mirror. But now, it was too much to take.

"Will you ever speak in normal speak!" he shouted.

"But, it is very intoxicating for us!" McGonagall retorted.

"Fine! If you're so smart, then what was a month old at Cain's birth, and still not five weeks old?" **(AN: Sorry about putting a note in the middle of the story. But, just so you know, Cain is a bible character, the son of Adam and Eve. I don't really want to put in a religious reference, but this is a good part, and the play sad it first!)**

Lockhart had just made that up. He had no answer to it, and he bet there was no answer to it. But, for once, he wanted to stump the infamous Dumbledore.

"Ah… good question," Dumbledore began. "But I must say the answer is Dictynna."

Lockhart was stumped. There was an answer to that question?! Leave it to Dumbledore to find an answer to an impossible question. He wanted to come up with a good comeback, but stupidly said, "What's that?"

"Dictynna? Oh, it is Phoebe."

"Who's that?"

"Luna."

"What's that?"

"To put it simply, the moon."

"Oh."

Here, Dumbledore turned back to McGonagall, and they continued their incomprehensible conversation.

Lockhart turned back to his wretched mirror, and started muttering that his one of his dimples wasn't exactly as deep as the other.

A bit after, Peter came in, with Mary in tow.

McGonagall saw it first, and her eyes narrowed. "Have you been doing anything inappropriate, Pettigrew?"

Peter blushed, and said, "No, I was just taking her to see Dumbledore."

"Oh."

Dumbledore turned, and Mary handed him a letter.

Dumbledore read it through. "Ah, I see your confusion. Getting a love letter addressed to Lady McKinnon, from a Lord Black."

McGonagall exclaimed, "What!"

She grabbed the letter, and read it. "We must go show this to the king!"

McGonagall grabbed a completely confused Mary, and pulled her along, with the others following.

Sirius soon after wandered in. He was muttering to himself. "Will Marlene appreciate this letter? I hope it conveys my feelings for her."

Soon he heard a noise: footsteps. He hurriedly looked around, and found only a tree. He scrambled up the tree, before James pranced in. Sirius smirked.

James was reading off a paper.

"So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not, TO those fresh morning drops upon the rose… But will Lily like this?"

Sirius gasped. He knew that James had fancied Lily in school, but this? James made to look around, but more footsteps were heard, and James scurried behind a nearby statue.

Frank walked in, also with a paper. He was moaning to himself. "Ay me! Why did I have to take that oath? I cannot be with the one I love! Why am I injured so? This is a mockery-"

But James and Sirius did not get to find out what it was a mockery of; as, yes, another set of footsteps could be heard.

Frank ran behind the gates, and Remus practically skipped in.

He was also praising his ladylove, "Oh, most divine Tonks! The amazing wonder to any mortal eye As upright as cedar, as fair as day, oh, that I had my wish! That I could be with that wondrous lady. I will always remember her-"

Frank walked out from behind the gates, and Remus froze in a state of shock.

"Remus, Remus, Remus. To think the wisest of our group should do this, I am astounded. This is an outrage!"

"Oh really?" said a voice from behind the statue. The two cringed as James walked out. "I think that the fact that both of you broke the contract is more of an outrage, and that you should be so hypocritical, Frank!"

Sirius stared at James, and shook his head. He dropped from the tree. James then joined the other two, cringing.

"Dear, old, Jamsie. Aren't you being a little bit hypocritical, too?"

James gulped. "How much did you hear?'

"Everything form you confessing your love to Lily."

Momentarily, Frank forgot his fear, and cried out, "Good for you, James! I knew you two would end up together!"

Frank then realized what he just did, and clapped a hand over his mouth.

James opened hi mouth to say something, but McGonagall came rushing out, a letter in hand.

"King James," she panted, for she had been running for a while, "this letter was put into my possession, I think you should have it."

She placed the letter in his hands, and walked away.

James opened the letter, and read, his face getting angrier by the second.

"How DARE you call me hypocritical, while being hypocritical yourself?! I demand an answer!"

Before James could say anything, Remus cut in. "James, this puts us all on the same page. Punishing him would be even more hypocritical."

"You're right," remarked Frank. "I say we forget this ever happened."

"No," started Sirius. The others looked at him, confused. Seeing this, Sirius continued, "Why deny our love? If we all break the contract, then what harm will become us?"

"But what about Engalnd?"

"Don't you see? We have already learned all we need, but you haven't realized that yet. We only need James to grow up."

There were nods of agreement from Remus and Frank, and a "HEY!" from James.

Ignoring James, Sirius finished, "And he already has. With the help of Lily. Can't you see how he acts around her?"

At this there was a mutual agreement at this, even though James was still a little ticked off.

Finally, Frank asked, "But what are we going to do, now we've broken the contract?"

At this, James perked up.

"We're going to have a little fun, boys."

AN: Review! And also, I was thinking of doing a sequel, with the trio + Ginny, based off Midsummer's Night Dream. Tell me what you think, and whom should it be mostly about (Ron and Hermione, or Harry and Ginny)? Your pick!


	5. Act V

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Shakespeare.

AN: Sorry if I didn't make it clear. Midsummer's Night Dream will be pretty much equal parts Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny. But, due to popular vote (2 to 1) I will be labeling it Ron/Hermione. Oh, and this is the last chapter!

**Love's Labor's Lost- Act V**

Lily, Tonks, Marlene, and Alice were sitting in the courtyard. It was just about dusk, but they were there, an hour or so before the ball. The king had organized a ball, or better put, a masquerade, to bid farewell to the princess. Lily had another book out, Alice was reading Tonks' palm, while the three were gossiping.

"I can't believe that we're leaving!"

"I know! And, Tonks, according to this, you'll live a relatively short life."

"Unfair! But anyways, I think we've had plenty of fun, mocking those boys."

"Yep. Frank simply _adores_ you, Alice. And, Tonks, Remus seems to be a bit off, for himself, especially when in the same room as you!"

"Nice, but don't forget. Sirius sure has the hots for you!"

"Well, that's obvious!"

Alice lifted her head from examining Tonks' lifeline, to say, "And James, he's mad for Lily."

Marlene beckoned the other three in close, and whispered, "And I think she likes him back."

"I heard that!"

"Yes, but you'd never kill _me._"

"Well, anyways, Marlene, I think you like Sirius," Lily said, turning bak to her book.

"Hey! AT least he's gorgeous! That face has to have been carved by angels!"

"Demons, more like," Lily muttered.

"Whatever."

"Now," Tonks started. "I think that Alice here might like Frank." Alice made a noise of protest, but Tonks continued. "At least he's pretty much the sweetest guy here! He's so caring and all! He's perfect for you! Whereas, Remus is so _distant_!" Tonks grumbled here.

"Well, according to your heart line, I think you might like Remus."

Marlene cut into Tonks' snorting, "Well, it's certain they like us. Is it just me, or am I getting a lot of trinkets from Sirius?"

"All of us are!"

"Well, girls," Lily started slowly. "We'll be rich when we leave tomorrow, with all of this stuff. Look at this! I found diamonds in my quarters! And I know they were from James!"

Lily held up a strand of beautiful diamonds. The others gasped at them.

"They're gorgeous! But, did anything else come with it?"

"Nothing but this poetry. I've never seen a paper crammed with so many rhymes! And he thought I wouldn't recognize his handwriting! Only James would write me up as being 'a most angelic creature' and 'too pure for the world'!"

"He's insane!"

"Are you saying that I'm not these?!"

"Aww… Poor Wiwy was touched by her wittle James!" Marlene mocked in a baby voice.

"Well, Marlene, what did you get?"

"I also have poetry. Except, apparently, Sirius can write better. Oh, no, never mind, that's Remus' handwriting."

"WHAT!!" Tonks exclaimed, looking like she was about to have a heart attack.

"No, it's not what you think. Sirius signed his name."

"Meaning, Sirius, the idiot he is-"

"Hey!"

"Stole Remus' work, and said it was his own. What else did you receive?"

"He drew my picture!"

The girls started cracking up, as a sheaf of paper was passed around. Sirius was a horrible artist.

"What did you get, Tonks?" Marlene asked.

"A pair of gloves."

"Very practical," Lily remarked.

"Therefore, very Remus!" Marlene joked, before Tonks glared at her.

"And what seems to be a thousand verses!" Tonks added. "What did you get, Alice?"

"I was sent pearls, and a letter."

"That's so sweet! Pearls! And, I bet the letter isn't half as bad as our horrible poetry."

"You're wrong there. The letter too long by nearly half a mile."

"Alice, criticizing someone? It cannot be! The apocalypse is surely coming!"

"Oh, shut up."

At that moment, Amos entered, clutching his sides in laughter. "Where is Lily? There is something she must know!"

"I'm here. What news?"

"Prepare! Prepare! I overheard the king and his fellows discussing something."

"Yes, yes, what is it?" Marlene asked, eagerly.

"They were talking about disguising themselves, and to come here and woo you, all in good fun."

"And how are they to guise themselves?"

"Ah, they were thinking of dressing as men from the Caribbean, and I quote, 'Those wretched men _always _steal the ladies."

"And who said that?" Marlene laughed.

"Sir Black, I believe."

The others started rolling around, laughing, leaving Marlene shaking her head in laughter.

Alice was the first to sober up. "But, what should we do about it?"

"Why, isn't it simple!" Marlene smirked. "We must mock them back!"

"But, how?" pondered Lily.

"I know!" Tonks cried.

All heads turned to her.

"It's simple, really. We mask ourselves, and exchange our tokens. Then, the lovers will be confused, and flirt with the wrong person."

"And we can laugh at it afterwards!"

"Okay, Marlene, I think you should switch with Lily. Your hair is around the same length, and almost the same color. No one should tell you apart, as night has fallen."

"An we'll switch, Alice. We're both fairly petite."

Marlene took Lily's diamonds, and clasped them around her wrist. She put on the red mask she had planned to wear for the masquerade. Lily placed on her face an emerald green mask, and held Sirius' portrait in her right hand. Tonks strung Alice's pearls around her neck, and tied on her yellow mask. Alice pulled on the gloves, and tied her sky blue mask in place. They were ready.

"Here they come," Amos whispered, and moved behind Marlene, who was supposed to be the princess.

Four men and a woman came out. They were in Hawaiian print shirts, and tan pants. They had leis around their necks. One had a small guitar. It was hard not to laugh at heir attempts. They even had a fake tan. Lily easily recognized James, what, with his trademark hair. After that, Sirius was simple, with his long black hair. Frank was the one with wavy brown hair, and Remus stood out, with the only light hair in the group. The woman had long black hair, and was wearing a grass skirt and coconut bra, all the while eying James. Lily realized that she was that Candy Chang girl.

Lily was just about to open her mouth to speak, but she realized she was not supposed to be the princess right now, and nudged Marlene to speak. Luckily, though, James had nudged Candy to speak.

She came forward. "I am sent to hail what I am told are the most beautiful beings on earth, though, I think James is hotter."

James sent a glare in Candy's direction, while Amos said, "Yes, get on with it."

"Right," she said. She pulled out a paper and started reading off of it, quite unenthusiastically. "A holy parcel of the fairest dames…"

Here Lily and the others turned their backs to the men, and under her breath, Marlene muttered, "Who wants to bet Remus wrote it?"

All of the other three, and Amos, raised their hands, so the men couldn't see it, and Marlene took their Sickles.

Candy continued, not noticing a thing, as she was so wrapped up in her own problems. "That ever turned their backs to mortal view."

Sirius leaned to Candy, and whispered, "Their eyes, fool, their eyes!"

Candy pouted, and amended what she said. "That ever turned their eyes to mortal view. Out of your favors, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe. Not to behold-"

"Once to behold, idiot!"

"You know what?" Marlene asked, in her best imitation of Lily. "If your pathetic servant cannot get it right, you should not have her reading it. Get someone else, or, even better, do it yourself! I'm sure that would be much more appreciated."

"A, if you put it that way, then, be gone Candy!" Sirius demanded.

Candy left, grumping all the way. Sirius and the others approached the women, but Marlene stopped them. "What is your purpose here?"

"To woo you," James stepped in.

"Ah. Well. Do it. Be done with it. And be gone."

Soon, Remus was chatting quietly with Alice. Tonks was laughing with Frank. Lily was mocking Sirius, and James was with Marlene, breathing sweet nothings into her ear, and breathing down her neck.

Lily couldn't help herself but look over at James and Marlene. And she felt something weird in the pit of her stomach. Was it jealously? No it couldn't be. But, then why was Lily suddenly feeling like tearing Marlene to shreds? But Lily convinced herself it was nothing.

Sirius saw how Lily kept looking over at James. And thinking that she was Marlene, he felt devastated. Marlene liked James? He might have to kill James. Or, as he convinced himself, Marlene just wanted to be sure her friend was all right.

Soon, it was over, and the men were bidding their adieus. They left, leaving Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Tonks to themselves again.

Lily began, "Sirius always seemed so disconcerted from what I said."

Marlene laughed. "James was always in want of a good word of him."

"Remus was ever at my service," Alice remarked. "I bet he would stab his hand with his sword if I said to do it." Seeing Tonks looking offended, she added, "Not like I would ever say that!"

Tonks looked immensely relieved. "Frank immediately said his heart was mine, and always has been."

"I think these men are desperate," Amos laughed.

"Ah, here they come back again!"

The girls quickly took off their masks, and returned the trinkets to their rightful owner, and left, for their quarters.

The four men entered, again, this time without Candy.

"Where is Lily?" James asked. "I would like to request a word with her."

"Ah…" said Amos. "I shall go get her for you." And he left after the girls.

Soon after, they reentered.

"Ah, sweet Lily! It is fair time of day!"

"Fair? It is not exactly fair at this item of day. It is after dusk."

"Not one of my better speeches, I suppose."

"Well, then, I suppose you could leave."

"Ah, but we were going to escort you to our court!"

"Only the day before I leave? One would think you should do it sooner."

"Ah, I am sorry that I am late."

"It is fine. A few men of the Caribbean, shall we say, entertained us."

"How very interesting. What, may I ask, happened?"

"The men were quite pitiful. So full of themselves, and completely interested in wooing us, when we did not even know them."

"Really?"

"Alright," Marlene interrupted. "Let's cut to the chase. Which one were you?"

"What do you mean?"

"We know that you were the ones who dressed up and wooed us. Surely you'd recognize what each said to us! Alice, Tonks, what did yours tell you?"

Tonks began, "Mine said his heart belonged to me."

At this, the color drained out of Frank's face.

"And mine said that he was ever in my service," added Alice.

Remus froze, and looked very pale.

"Ah," said Lily. "Mine talked about his everlasting love for me."

Sirius cringed, upset he had not wooed Marlene, and fearful at what James might do to him.

Marlene finished, "Mine was whispering sweet nothing down my neck. I wore he was going to kiss me."

James winced at the prospect of kissing Marlene instead of Lily.

Lily was inwardly cringing at the thought of it too.

"Oh, enough of this. We all know you wooed the wrong get over it!" Tonks demanded.

Frank was the first to recover. He slowly stepped over to Alice, and bent on his knee, and held her hand in his. "I want you to know, that all of those things I said were meant for you, only you. I love you, Alice, I truly do."

Alice smiled and pulled him up, and they started to walk off, on a little stroll.

Remus was next. He simply said, "You know, those were meant for you. But, I'm not a mushy type guy. You want to talk?"

Tonks grinned, and nodded. The two stepped under the shade of a tree and started a debate on werewolves.

Sirius just said, "Look, I like you. Okay?"

Marlene jumped on him, and hugged him. After a few seconds, she got off of him, and pulled him off by the hand, giggling.

Lily looked up. "Ten galleons they're going to shag tonight."

James smirked. "And another ten says they aren't really in love, like say, Frank and Alice, and doing it for the kicks."

Lily thought back and laughed. Sirius was probably devastated there were no girls to shag, and Marlene was the hottest, so chose her. Marlene probably wanted fresh meat. And, that grew into fake love. And, they were probably going to dump each other after this night. Lily smiled, and said, "Done."

They shook hands.

After a few minutes (or what seemed like hours) James said, "Look, Lily, I'm sorry for how I teased you in school. I completely regret it."

And then, Lily completely surprised him, by doing something utterly unLilyish. She kissed him.

She just stepped forward and kissed him. He kissed back. After a while, lily broke off, and whispered into his ear, "You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that!"

"Actually, I do," he whispered back. He bit her ear, and she giggled. Yet again, the rock solid lily was doing something completely unLilyish. And another time, as she kissed him again.

Back underneath the tree, Tonks was laughing with Remus, smiling at their friends antics, as Remus wrapped an arm around Tonks.

Frank already had his arm around Alice, and was smiling at her, as they just soaked in the beautiful silence.

Sirius and Marlene… well, I'm not going to get into what they're doing if I want this story to be R or under.

And, in the country, Sir Wood and Mary were enjoying their honeymoon, as no one had noticed them elope together.

Five happy couples. All together.

That same night was the night when Lord Flitwick of France came with grave news. Lily's father, the king was dead. He had not died of sickness, but Lord Riddle had attacked the castle. Lily was devastated.

Soon after though, James proposed to her. She gladly accepted. She abdicated the French throne to the Delacour family, soon afterwards, to live with James and all her friends in England. Frank and Alice married too. Sirius and Marlene stayed single and friends. Remus and Tonks stayed single for a while after.

Frank and Alice had a baby a year later, James and Lily having a baby only days later. They decided to name him Harry James Potter. But his story you know.

AN: AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE STORY, YOU DESERVE TO BE HUNG!! Its over! Sorry for the whole rushed thing at the end. I wanted to end it! I know it's cheesy, now shut up!


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